


Dried out

by Inky_Scribbles



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Autistic Toph Beifong, Because I can, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Let Toph Say Fuck, Not obvious though, Panic Attacks, Short, Swearing, Talking, Toph Beifong Being a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inky_Scribbles/pseuds/Inky_Scribbles
Summary: Zuko's tried forgetting, but some things just don't leave you.///“Hey!” Toph’s hands give a few resounding claps right in front of his nose, and he jerks back with a shudder. His lungs feel ragged, like he’s been putting them through their paces. And maybe he has, because his chest is heaving when he reaches up to grip the cloth at his chest.It’s fine. It's fine.It doesn’t matter.
Relationships: Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 8
Kudos: 317





	Dried out

**Author's Note:**

> So, quarantine, huh?
> 
> Had a bit of time on my hands, so I binge watched atla and it actually mostly lived up to its reputation, which is cool. Then I oddly started remembering this experience I once had for no reason as far as i can tell, so. this was born.

Toph finds him while he’s dangling his feet over the edge of one of the Western Air Temple buildings, looking into the drop. He can’t quite see past the cloying fog to the bottom, but he knows it must be a long way down. A very long way down.

He remembers the feeling of his feet flying out from underneath him, heat spreading up and swirling dangerously like a storm just shy of his face, the panicked firebending as he’d tried to push it away. The ground disappearing from view in an explosion of smoke and dust. The feeling like he missed a step on a staircase, except there’s nothing below to catch him if he tripped.

But no, he caught the vine root in time. He’s alive.

He pats himself down anyway, feels the solidity of his chest and legs. The breath in his chest. This isn’t a dream he got caught up in between the moments of life and death.

“So, what was that about?” Oh, right. He’d almost forgotten Toph was there, sitting beside him, now.

“Uh,” he fists the rim of the ledge until it crumbles, and then remembers that Toph can probably sense him doing it, so he should stop. And then he remembers that he’s not exactly in the Fire Nation anymore, nor would he be welcomed there even if he did go back, so he’s allowed to show emotion. And then he remembers that he doesn’t really _want_ Toph to - 

Anyway.

“Uh… what?”

She doesn’t exactly sound bothered that it took him so long to respond. Which… is a good thing? “You know, back there. You got a thing for Sokka or something?” Actually, she sounds more amused than anything.

“What?” he sputters, feeling something in him reel from the subject matter. He’d expected, well - basically anything else, really. There’s got to be something she’s curious about - his scar, why he burned her feet, things he doesn't know the answers to. Anything. Instead, she’s asking about whether or not he has a crush on Sokka? Of all people. “No!”

“Wow, I’m almost offended for him.” Heat floods his face. Spirits, what is it with these people? He just can’t win. How did she even come to that conclusion, anyway? Can she hear his heartbeat or something? Crazy earthbending powers? “I’m kidding, he can deal with his own problems. But seriously, what was that?”

He feels the film of panic stick like treacle between the mechanical motions of his brain as it tries to remember what exactly went wrong back there. He feels like a tiny version of himself, sitting deep in a pit in his head, trying to reach the levers and buttons to make his massive robot brain move - think. Speak. Anything.

Even though it must have only happened a few minutes ago, he can barely remember it. An oddly dramatised version pops into his head, too fast to fully process and sticky with incurable panic, and once he’s seized it, it clings to his fingers and doesn’t let go. He sees the corrupted memory, over and over again.

Suki, ripping Sokka’s stained top off with longer nails than she actually has - like talons - too close for comfort. Sokka backs up, shirtless (or whatever water tribe clothing he’s wearing), but she grabs him by the chin and suddenly it’s not third person, there’s palled smoke and thick perfume, and that’s not Suki’s face - 

“Hey!” Toph’s hands give a few resounding claps right in front of his nose, and he jerks back with a shudder. His lungs feel ragged, like he’s been putting them through their paces. And maybe he has, because his chest is heaving when he reaches up to grip the cloth at his chest.

It’s fine. He’s fully clothed. Suki isn’t even like that, nowhere near - not from what he’s seen. He hadn’t even made the correlation between the two until just moments ago. They don’t even look alike, and he barely even remembers the face of that person anyway, so it’s just stupid. It’s not like… it’s not like anything…

Well. It doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter.

“Wow, you’ve really had some fucked up shit happen to you, huh?” She taps the ground with her palm, solidly, and it takes a moment for him to realise that it’s a nervous habit, and not bending that she’s doing. Or, maybe it is bending? She sees through the vibrations in the ground, right? So maybe it’s some kind of echolocation, or something.

“Uh…” he goes to rub at his face, then pulls away when he feels his scar. He’s just so exhausted - of the reminders that are everywhere, that he somehow managed to dredge up that old memory he’d been doing so well at avoiding, that his uncle hates him now, and everything else. “I guess so.”

“I get that,” Toph nods, staring blankly over the ridge of the cliff. He wonders if she knows how far down it really goes. “But Suki’s not like that, you know?”

Zuko freezes, fingers clenching, knotting themselves into fists. He works his jaw for a few moments, wondering if Toph knows exactly what she’s talking about here, trying to come up with the words - or some kind of a way - to ask.

“Like… what?”

She grunts, pulling back a strand of hair from her face, like she’s trying to distract herself from how openly emotional they’re both being. How openly she just pulled him away from the thing that happens when he’s not… feeling up to himself, if that makes any sense at all.

“She’s not going to do anything Sokka doesn’t want her to do. And Sokka’s not going to do anything she doesn’t want to do, either.” She smooths back the hair at the top of her head too, although nothing looks out of place. “I overheard them hashing out boundaries a while back. Before Ba Sing Se.”

Zuko swallows, feels the movement in his throat as he clenches his eyes shut. Somehow, she knows. Somehow. “Then why…”

She shrugs. “I think he was just surprised. They stopped after you left, but he’s still shirtless if you really do have a thing for him.”

“I don’t!”

She smirks. “Right. Well, Katara’s nearly done with Twinkletoes, so it’s my turn next, I guess. You can come watch me chuck rocks at him, if you like.”

He doesn’t think he will, but he nods anyway, and she leaves. His throat feels too small, and the air feels too thin, but the second he lies down he falls asleep.

He doesn’t wake up until the sun crests on the horizon, still feeling tired and dehydrated and dried of all tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Don't leave it like Zuko does - drink water, eat something, maybe have a shower. Take care of yourself.


End file.
